The Insanity We Call TV
by Kippixin
Summary: Dib and ZIM watch children's shows. Each chapter will be a different show. Updated! Chapter 2: Dora The ... Irken.
1. Tellitubbies!

The Insanity We Call "TV"  
  
Welcome to yet, another fiction from Kippixin (formerly Kippixieon). This one is comedy, so no romance, ZADR, and angst involved! In this one, ZIM and Dib watch different children's shows and this is just what happens during it. (Please note I actually had to go through the sufferment of watching each show myself to write this). Also, this fiction is a bit interactive. If you want ZIM and Dib to watch a certain show, just say so in the review. I will consider it. (Most likely I will, I will be amazed if anyone reviews anyways.) Also, keep it children's shows. I won't do any others, because, well, I might like them, and other people might like them too. So yay. Also, all the characters in here are the same age they are in the show. BTW I don't own ZIM, Dib, GIR, or the tellitubbies.  
  
Chapter 1 - Tellitubbies  
  
Dib was hacking into ZIM's house, again! Oh boy. This time he was succeeding. Did we hear the word succeeding? Oh yes! Yes we did. He managed to get past the yard gnomes. He had hacked into their circuit systems to stop attacking him. Now he just had to get past the door. This was going to be a skillful task, a task of much skill, a task that requires skill, a task of...  
  
Dib put his hand on the door knob and turned it and opened the door. Dib stood there for a minute, wondering if there was a trap. Then he blinked, and walked in.  
  
"Well that was ridicolously easy!" said Dib outloud.  
  
Stupid Dib. The house began beeping and then Dib covered his mouth, silently cussing at himself for his stupidity.  
  
"INTRUDER ALERT!" the computer screamed. ZIM appeared from under a table-like thing, much like he did in NanoZIM.  
  
"Oh geez it's DIB AGAIN?! PITIFUL HUMAN MONKEY THOUGHT HE COULD HACK INTO MY BASE?!" ZIM screamed.  
  
Dib stood there.  
  
"Well it was easy, I mean, what alien invader leaves their door wide open.. and hey, human monkey?! Humans and monkeys are different things!" Dib yelled.  
  
"No they're not! How dare you correct ZIM?!" screeched ZIM.  
  
"Computer! Lock the doors and windows!" ZIM screamed.  
  
Dib began to run to the door, to discover it was locked now. He ran to the window. Locked. Crap.  
  
"AHAHHAHA PITIFUL HUMAN!!!" ZIM laughed. ZIM blinked for a moment, sitting there. He soon snapped back to life.  
  
"Now I can finally capture you!" ZIM reached behind his back.. Dib was trembling, trembling a tremble like never before. ..ZIM pulled out a pig doll. Dib stopped trembling, blinked, then promptly yelled,  
  
"OH COME ON? That's a pig? What's it going to do?!"  
  
"STUFF! Do not question ZIM!" and then he pressed a button on the pig. The pig turned into a huge, capturing device that looked much like a strait jacket. Dib saw this.  
  
"You work for the mental hospital?!" Dib screamed.  
  
"YES! ..I mean.. NO! NO! " ZIM yelled.  
  
"This pig will capture the only other thing in the room besides the person it was sent to capture. Neat, huh?" and with that the strait-jacket wrapped around Dib, capturing him and walking, much like the strait-jacket in Dib's nightmare vision. It walked over to ZIM's couch, and pratically nailed itself to it.  
  
"I HAVE CAPTURED DIB! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" yelled ZIM. GIR appeared out of the table thing, holding a pig just like ZIM's.  
  
"Master what is this? OOh, button!" GIR squealed.  
  
"GIR! NO!" ZIM screamed, but he was too late, GIR had pressed the button. The pig turned into another strait-jacket, this time capturing ZIM and nailing him to the couch. GIR giggled and then sat between Dib and his master.  
  
"Oh that was stupid." said Dib.  
  
"It was not stupid! It was ingenious!" said ZIM.  
  
"Then why the heck did your invention just capture the inventor?" said Dib.  
  
"BECAUSE.. ....YOUR HEAD IS BIG." ZIM screamed.  
  
"That was such a genious answer!" Dib said with sarcasm.  
  
"Yes! I know it was! For I AM ZIM!!" ZIM screamed. Dib rolled his eyes.  
  
"So.. what do we do now?" asked Dib, turned his head to ZIM.  
  
"I don't know." said ZIM, truthfully. That was odd. ZIM blinked a minute.  
  
"There is a button on the back of these.. GIR..." ZIM said to GIR. GIR looked up at his master.  
  
"GIR.. press the button on the back of master's outfit.." ZIM said. Dib interferred.  
  
"No GIR... press the button on the back of my outfit.."  
  
"No GIR..mine.." said ZIM.  
  
"Mine!" screamed Dib.  
  
"NO MINE!" screamed ZIM.  
  
"Mine!" screamed Dib.  
  
"OBEY YOUR MASTER, GIR!" screamed ZIM. GIR blinked.  
  
"We gunna watch the Tellitubbies!" screamed GIR. ZIM and Dib then screamed in a horror that was never screamed before. GIR turned on the TV, to show an image of a green field and then a voice promptly screamed, "Time for Tellitubbies! Time for Tellitubbies!" ZIM screamed, and so did Dib. They both struggled frantically to get out of the capturing devices, but it was no use. It was too strong. They sat there, looking defeated.  
  
A bright, bright yellow screen popped up. ZIM screamed.  
  
"AUGH IT'S AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN!" Then a yellow Tellitubby popped up on it.  
  
"What the fuck are they trying to do to children?! Blind them?!" yelled Dib.  
  
"You pitiful humans are already blinded and oblivious to everything! And now I see why, they must have shiny lights in their eyes from watching this horrendous horror! "  
  
On the TV screen, a hat popped up. A cow-printed-cowboy-hat. Then another one. Then another one. The yellow tellitubby screamed, "3!!!" and hopped up and down. Then the BG changed to a bright, bright green. One hat popped up. Another hat popped up. And then, a third hat popped up. The tellitubby screamed 3 again.  
  
"YES!" Dib screamed at the television.  
  
"We are happy to know a weird-looking man dressed in yellow can COUNT TO THREE!"  
  
Then, a bright purple screen. It was brighter than the last two. Three hats popped up again. Then a big number 3 popped up and some Indian (from India, not Indian Americans) children danced around it promptly screamed.. well.. three.  
  
"What the fuck?" Said Dib.  
  
"If my knowledge is correct, Hindi is a very popular language in India.. shouldn't they be screaming TEEN?! Why aren't they screaming Teen?! TEEN! TEEN! TEEEEEEENN!" Dib screamed and spazzed in his strait jacket. (Note: Teen is three in Hindi.)  
  
"I thought they speak Arabic in India?" asked ZIM.  
  
"Yes but.. oh nevermind why am I explaining this to a stupid alien?!" screamed Dib.  
  
"Stupid? Excuse me! You do not know anything!" screamed ZIM.  
  
"Hey atleast I know three in Hindi!"  
  
"Oh yeh do you know four?!"  
  
"Chaar!"  
  
"Five?"  
  
"Panch!"  
  
"What about one million?" ZIM snickered. Dib thought for a moment.  
  
"HA you do not know one mil-" said ZIM, then cut off by Dib.  
  
"Dasa laakha." said Dib.  
  
"Darn." said ZIM.  
  
"Fine then, Dib! What's three in IRKEN?" ZIM asked.  
  
"How the heck should I know?!" said Dib, looking at ZIM.  
  
"AHAHA DEFEAT!!!" screamed ZIM. Dib looked at the TV again, blinking.  
  
Now instead of Indian children, the red Tellitubby came in riding a scooter. He was babbling some random crap.  
  
"What's he saying, Dib, oh-knowledger-of-languages?" ZIM said, sarcastically.  
  
"I don't speak stupid!" said Dib.  
  
"Really?! I thought that's what dialect you spoke ALL THE TIME!" said ZIM.  
  
"That was lame!" said Dib.  
  
"So are you, Dib. So thus a lame insult fits the lame person here." ZIM said.  
  
"I believe that would be you. You trapped yourself in your own invention. Now that's lame!"  
  
"Shutup!" said ZIM, and they watched the TV again. This time the green one came swirling down, wearing that damned cow-printed cowboy hat.  
  
"AUGH IS IT GOING TO SCREAM THREE AGAIN?!" said ZIM.  
  
The green one babbled stuff to the red one. The red one made an odd- humping motion against its scooter.  
  
"What.. is it doing?" said ZIM.  
  
"It's HUMPING THE SCOOTER!" Dib screamed, and ZIM screamed too.  
  
"Wait! ...what's humping?" asked ZIM.  
  
"You ..would not want to know." said Dib.  
  
"Stupid human rituals." said ZIM, mumbling.  
  
They turned their attention again, to see a pinwheel outside on the field, swirling around with some crap shiny effects. All the tellitubbies gathered around in a line, gasping and gawking and crap at the shiny thing.  
  
"They must like shiny things." said ZIM.  
  
"No shit." said Dib.  
  
The tellitubbies stood there all in a line. All was quiet. Then the red one did a HIP THRUST.  
  
"What the heck is it doing?!" said ZIM, and then the next one did a HIP THRUST.  
  
"It's getting ready." said Dib.  
  
"For.. what?" asked ZIM.  
  
"To molest children." said Dib.  
  
"..What the..." said ZIM.  
  
The rest of the tellitubbies did HIP THRUSTS. Then the red one's square-thing on it stomach lighted up. All the tellitubbies gasped and gathered around, giggling and pointing. Then it showed a video of children on the square.  
  
"...IT ATE THE CHILDREN!" screamed Dib, in horror.  
  
"Good!" said ZIM.  
  
Then the square on the tellitubbies stomach zoomed in. It showed the childrens hopping on tricycles, riding them. A voice then said, "We like to ride tricycles." there was lots of childrens screaming in joy riding down hills and crap and that voice saying things like "tricycles are fun". ZIM looked like his eyes were about to bleed. Dib looked the same way, and he wasn't even an alien.  
  
Then it zoomed out.  
  
"Thank god that was over." said ZIM. And then, it zoomed in again, repeating the same thing they just saw.  
  
"Why the hell are they repeating it?!" ZIM screamed.  
  
"They ran out of material." Said Dib. ( Thanks to Heptad for that. )  
  
"Who the hell watches this? You'd think they'd be cancelled by now!" said ZIM.  
  
"People like GIR watch it." said Dib.  
  
"Man your race is sad." said ZIM.  
  
Then the tellitubbies started to run around their house. Each time around they ran around faster, the music getting faster. And faster. And faster. Then it stopped.  
  
"That was.. pointless." said ZIM.  
  
"What was that? A dancing ritual for Baby Ra?" Dib said, motioning to the tv with his head, which showed a sun with a baby's face looking disgruntled then it laughed. ( Thanks Heptad too for the Baby Ra thing )  
  
ZIM looked at the sun, and screamed, shutting his eyes.  
  
"AUGH IT'S DISGUSTINNNGGG!" ZIM spazzed in his strait jacket, nearly having a heart attack. An IRKEN heart attack!  
  
Then the screen went bright yellow again. It showed all the tellitubbies, giggling and crap and hugging.  
  
"Are they.. having an orgy?" asked Dib.  
  
".......what?" said ZIM.  
  
"Nevermind.." said Dib.  
  
"AHHH THEY'RE LIKE THE GIRLS AT SKOOL!" screamed ZIM. Dib screamed. That was horrifying.  
  
"AND.. they're MEN!!" said Dib. They both screamed.  
  
"Wait.. you sure they're not both?" asked ZIM.  
  
"I have... NO IDEA!" yelled Dib, and he screamed again with ZIM.  
  
Then the tellitubbies on the screen were dancing, and they started multipling in numbers on the screen.  
"AUUUGHH THEY'RE REPRODUCING!" said Dib.  
  
"WITH WHAT?! Themselves?!" said ZIM.  
  
"YES!" said Dib, and they screamed. Then one by one, they dissappeared on the screen.  
  
"OH MY GOD THEY DIED." said ZIM. They blinked for a minute, then both promptly screamed "YAY!" at the same time. Then it showed that pinwheel again.. spinning. Then the tellitubbies came up.  
  
"Drat they didn't." said ZIM.  
  
Then a mercury-looking lake was made, the tellitubbies sitting down staring at it.  
  
"What is it?! Radioactive cum?!" said Dib. ZIM looked at him oddly.  
  
Then some ships were seen in the distance of the mercury lake.  
  
"Where did those things come from?" said Dib. Then they waited an INCREDIOUSLY long time, as the ships got closer and closer.  
  
"Here come the sperm ships!" said Dib, and ZIM, once again, looked at him oddly.  
  
Finally, after.. 20 minutes it seemed, the ships dissappeared and the mercury lake did too. Then all the tellitubbies got in a group, laughing and giggling and crap again. Then the red one tried to kiss the yellow.  
  
"I think they have a thing for eachother." said Dib.  
  
"I knew it!" yelled ZIM.  
  
Then Dib and ZIM heard the four-most-wonderful words ever of their life.  
  
"Tellitubby bye-bye-time!" said the voice on the green hills. The teletubbies waved goodbye, and then it ended.  
  
"Oh my god." said Dib.  
  
"Oh my goodly god god." said ZIM.  
  
"It's over." they said together, with a relieved sigh.  
  
"TIME TO WATCH MORE KIDDY SHOWS!! " squealed GIR.  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" ZIM and Dib both screamed in unison.  
  
..To be continued.  
  
How was it? Everyone like? Short, yes. Funny, hmm? Reviews? Suggestions? Ideas? What show do you want to see the two poor captives watch next..? 


	2. Dora The Irken

The Insanity We Call "TV"  
  
Yo! Chapter 2 is up. For this one - It's Dora The Explorer. I'm going to do a bit of twist on this one - I'm just going to go by memory of Dora and make up the episode as I go along, yeh. I saw about half of Dora the other day, but it got too scary, but that's enough to go by. ( But I did check out the official site.. *shudders*.... and got all the names yeh. )  
  
Thanks for all the reviews! Oh! To Laddia Shrangg -  
  
"Ahem...anyway, yeah. That's my suggestion. Oh, and I noticed something:  
  
"This pig will capture the only other thing in the room besides the person it was sent to capture. Neat, huh?"  
  
The only other thing in the room besides the person the pig was sent to capture (Dib) would be Zim, so Zim would have been captured by the pig that HE sent out rather than the pig that Gir sent out. However, I can forgive you since you made me laugh my ass off. "  
  
That was a typo. I meant "This pig will capture the only other thing in the room besides the person that sent it out to capture the other person. Neat, huh?" Get what I'm saying? Yeh. I was tired. It was .. early, I wrote odd stuff... So basically ZIM meant that when he released it, it would capture another person in the room, not himself. And then when GIR released it, it captured ZIM, not GIR. Yeh. Anyways...  
  
Chapter 2: Dora The ... Irken.  
  
( Next up is Barney. )  
  
"Dib, this is getting scary. Even I'm sure you could agree with me on that one. " ZIM said, looking over at Dib, who was in shock, mouth agape.  
  
"..Dib?" ZIM said.  
  
"...Dib-human?" ZIM repeated.  
  
"DIB?! DIB!! DIB?!?!" ZIM yelled. Dib just sat there in shock.  
  
"...I'm going to destroy Earth." ZIM said.  
  
"WHAT WHAT?!? NO YOU SHAN'T ZIM!" Dib said, coming out of his shock. He looked around.  
  
"..Uh what happened?" Dib asked.  
  
"Well we both got ourselves trapped in these strait-jacket things and then.." ZIM said, Dib interrupting.  
  
"I know that you IDIOT. What just happened now?" Dib asked.  
  
"We just got finished watching Tellitubbies and you were in shock." ZIM said.  
  
"...I'm not surprised I didn't die." Dib said.  
  
"..While you were in shock.." ZIM said.  
  
"I tried to get GIR to unlock me, but he just won't listen. I'll have to destroy him later. Anyways, I guess we're stuck like this. Until.." ZIM said.  
  
"..Until what?" Dib said.  
  
"..I have no clue, we're just stuck like this. " ZIM nodded.  
  
"HEHEHE did master and his friend enjoy that?" GIR giggled.  
  
".....When hell freezes over, is when I'll enjoy that. Same for ZIM ever being my friend." Dib said.  
  
ZIM shuddered at this thought of Dib being his "friend".  
  
"WELP we gunna watch MORE shows NOW!" GIR squealed, changing the channel to a bright yellow screen, showing a .. smiley face.  
  
"IT'S FACE!" GIR squealed.  
  
"...AHHHHHHHH." ZIM screamed.  
  
Face was drinking .. something purple. With a very long straw. He kept drinking, it kept filling him up, turning the screen slowly from yellow to purple.  
  
"...How long is it going to take him to drink that?" ZIM said.  
  
"..I have no idea." Dib said.  
  
.... 20 MINUTES LATER.  
  
"Hehehe! That was a good drink! Now time for DORA THE EXPLORER! ¡Adiós amigos!" FACE said, screeching the Spanish in the loudest, screechiest, worse-accent possible.  
  
ZIM and Dib were sleeping, and quickly snapped awake from the loud screeching Spanish.  
  
The screen popped up, to show a little girl. A little hispanic girl. As fat as can be, with her belly button showing through her shirt. I swear. That shirt was just not meant for that little chubby child. She was wearing a ..weird pink coloured shirt, red shorts, white shoes, and yellow socks. Well it's obvious this child had no taste for fashion. She had a head way too huge for her body.  
  
"MY GOD it's head. It's head is ALMOST as big as your's!" ZIM said.  
  
"..MY HEAD IS NOT BIG." Dib screamed.  
  
"YES IT IS.. oh my god. WHAT IS THAT." ZIM said, looking at the screen. It was a light lavender.. monkey. With a yellow belly and some yellow markings.. with insane funky hair, wearing red boots. ( A/N: Heh heh, just a note to everyone ; I like Boots.. ;__; ..Yeh. I just discovered it was Boots, not Bootz. This makes me sad. )  
  
"HI! I'M DORA. DORA THE EXPLORER." the little hispanic child on the TV screamed.  
  
"AND THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND. BOOTS. " said Dora.  
  
"HELLO!!!" screamed Boots, the talking monkey.  
  
"..Your best friend is a talking Monkey.. named.. Boots...." ZIM said.  
  
"Man that's even more creepy than you Dib." ZIM said. Dib rolled his eyes.  
  
"Let's go for a walk today, Boots!" Dora said.  
  
"Walk! Walk! Yes! Walk!" Boots screamed, jumping up and down.  
  
"Someone get that monkey on ridalin." said Dib.  
  
Dora and her talking-monkey friend, Boots, they came to a .. cacoon.  
  
"Look Boots! It's a CACOON. DO YOU KNOW WHAT CACOON IS IN SPANISH?" Dora said.  
  
"No." said Boots.  
  
"WELL I DON'T EITHER." Dora said, they then turned to the screen, staring wide at you.  
  
"..She's.. staring.. at ... me." ZIM said as the cacoon started shaking.  
  
"Is the cacoon hatching." Dora said deadpan.  
  
"...Isn't it odd the cacoon is behind them yet ..she's staring at us?" Dib blinked. After about.. 30 seconds, Dora ran over to the cacoon and watched it hatch into a butterfly. And the butterfly.. spoke to them.  
  
"... Esta demostración es realmente mala. La deseo apagado-aire. " the butterfly said. ( A/N: I don't speak Spanish and I am using a translator so if any of this is wrong or something um.. I don't know yeh. )  
  
"Sorry, Butterfly, I don't know what you're saying." Dora said, giggling.  
  
"..This show is really bad. I want it off air." the butterfly said in a real Spanish accent.  
  
"HEHEHE silly butterfly, that's the fakest accent I ever seen!" Dora giggled.  
  
"....OH MY GOD IT'S A SPANISH TALKING BUTTERFLY." Dib screamed.  
  
The Butterfly just shrugged it off and flew away.  
  
"Well, that was odd." Dib stated.  
  
Dora and Boots continued walking until they got to a huge stone.. with.. a stick lodged in it.  
  
"Wow how Arthur-esque." Dib said.  
  
"Eh?" ZIM said.  
  
"..Nothing."  
  
( A/N: I dunno if it was Arthur or not, spare me. Yes. )  
  
"Look Boots! A STICK!" Dora said, pointing at the stick, running over to it, Monkey following.  
  
"A STICK A STICK!" Boots screamed.  
  
"I'm telling ya, someone needs to get that funky monkey on ridalin!" Dib said.  
  
"Yes, Boots, help me pull it out!" and with that Dora grabbed the stick and so did Boots and they strained and strained to pull the stick out of.. the rock.  
  
"Tell me how did a STICK GET STUCK IN A ROCK IN THE FIRST PLACE." Dib said.  
  
Finally, they pulled it out. ..A shiny light engulfed them, and tons of animals came out, chanting, "the stick the stick the stick".  
  
"What's the stick?" Dora said.  
  
"The stick is MAGICAL AND STUFFS you must take it to the highest mountain or whatever to see it do a trick!" an animal said.  
  
"..Dib, do sticks do tricks?" ZIM asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Well! Boots! Then we must go to the mountain! But how do we get there! We must find out! BACKPACK!" with that the purple backpack started singing how it was.. indeed.. a backpack.  
  
"YOU WANT TO FIND out how to get to the highest mountain?" the backpack said.  
  
"You need the map!" the backpack said.  
  
"..What? I thought I was the only Irken!" ZIM said.  
  
"What?" Dib said.  
  
"Irkens have funky backpacks that do commands for them and are their life-source, you remember once when you almost killed me and took my backpack. They're called PAKS." said ZIM.  
  
"..So Dora's an Irken?" said Dib.  
  
"..Yes."  
  
"..A...Spanish talking Irken?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well isn't the world odd."  
  
"To read the map, say map!" Dora said.  
  
"SAY MAP SAY MAP!" the monkey screamed.  
  
"...I wonder if she has any ridalin in that PAK. " Dib said.  
  
With that, the map popped on the screen, singing.. something about it being a map.  
  
"Well don't they all just love singing what they are!" Dib said.  
  
"..Dib, it's a talking map. ..How odder can it get?" ZIM said.  
  
"SO, you want to get to the BIG HILL." the map said, highlighting ..the.. big hill on the map.  
  
"WELL FIRST YOU GOTTA GO OVER SNAKE RIVER." it said, highlighting a river.  
  
"THEN OVER THE WALL." it said, highlighting the wall.  
  
"AND THEN YOU GET TO THE BIG MOUNTAIN. " the map said.  
  
"..Is it a mountain or hill? Mountain or hill? MOUNTAIN OR HILL?! WILL THEY EVER MAKE UP THEIR MIND?!" Dib screamed.  
  
"Shutup Dib you're annoying me." ZIM said.  
  
"UNDERSTAND?! RIVER. WALL. BIG HILL. RIVER. WALL. BIG MOUNTAIN. RIVER. WALL. BIG HILL!!!!" then the map started singing.  
  
"River! Wall! Big hill! River. Wall! Big mountain!" the map sung.  
  
"...WE GET THE POINT NOW INFERIOR MAP." ZIM screamed.  
  
"Now you tell Dora.. River.." the map started, as ZIM screamed.  
  
"..wall.." the map said, ZIM screaming again.  
  
"...BIG HILL." the map finished, ZIM letting out a very, very, loud scream.  
  
"Man what are you trying to do ZIM? Pierce my eardrums?" Dib said.  
  
"Yes, I am trying to ..pierce..your.. drum.. thingies." ZIM said. Dib looked at ZIM like he was stupid.  
  
"SO WE HAVE TO GO over the river, over the wall, to the big MOUNTAIN!" Dora said.  
  
"Well let's go Boots!" Dora said, walking, and stuffing the stick into her magical backpack.  
  
They came to the RIVER.  
  
"How are we going to get across the river boots?" Dora said.  
  
"RIVER RIVER RIVER." Boots jumped up and down.  
  
"GET THAT MONKEY ONNNN RIDDDDDDDALINN!" Dib spazzed in his capturing device.  
  
"Yes.. a river..." said ZIM, hating Dora now because he was convinced Dora was out to steal his plans of taking over Earth, and he knew Irkens couldn't swim in water.  
  
"How about we swim over?" Boots said, swimming through the river and to the other side.  
  
"See see!" Boots said. Dora looked worried.  
  
"Uh.. no, Boots.. it looks dangerous.." Dora said.  
  
"HA. " ZIM laughed.  
  
"WE COULD.. call our purple squirrley friend, Tico, to help us across!" Said Dora. Tico appeared out of a random bush.  
  
"MY GOD what is THAT THING, IT'S A PURPLE SQUIRREL WEARING RAINBOW AND IT HAS TEETH AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD, Dib." ZIM said, making another crack joke at Dib's head.  
  
Dib rolled his eyes, looking at the squirrel.  
  
"My god it's a gay purple squirrel." Dib said.  
  
"..Are we even sure it's a squirrel?" ZIM asked. Then thinking, he screamed out,  
  
"IT'S A SIR UNIT. Yeh." ZIM said.  
  
"SIR unit..?" Dib blinked in confusion. ZIM said nothing.  
  
"HOLA DORA. I AM TICO. THE SQUIRREL." Tico said, dancing.  
  
"T-period-I-period-C-period-O-period...T.I.C.O!" ZIM said.  
  
"I wonder what that means.." at this moment Dib thought ZIM had completely lost it.  
  
"Hola Tico!" Dora said.  
  
"Hola Dora!" Tico said, repeating himself.  
  
"Tico, we need help! We cannot cross the river!" Dora said.  
  
"Hurm what do you mean Dora.. Boots crossed it just-" Dora then started screaming, spatting in Tico's face.  
  
"YOU INCOMPETANT SIR UNIT, I SAID WE NEED HELP CROSSING THE RIVER." Dora screamed, the smiled at the screen.  
  
"Apesadumbrado, Dora!" Tico said.  
  
"ANYWAYS TICO, we must get across the river." Dora said.  
  
"I hope she falls in." ZIM said.  
  
"Me too." Dib said.  
  
"Hehhee.. Tico sounds like TACO.." GIR giggled. ( A/N: Hey, he needed to say something. Sorry all you GIR fans, I just am lazy and I doubt GIR would really be quiet during all this..but as I said, I'm just lazy... maybe he'll have more of a role in some later chapters..)  
  
"Hey.. it does.. TACO...Hehehe." Dib laughed. ZIM looked at Dib as if he had gone insane.  
  
"Man what I would give for a taco right now.." Dib said, as he had woken up and came straight to ZIM's house, no breakfast.  
  
"Tacos are icky." said ZIM.  
  
"I don't care what you think ZIM." Dib said. MEANWHILE back to the TV...  
  
"HMMMM WELP... let us think!" Tico said, at this moment a band of.. insects came out playing random spanish-sounding music.  
  
"...." was all Dib could say. And that was nothing.  
  
Then Dora and Tico started dancing, looking much like that "USE YOUR NOODLE" dance in that show.. with the creepy otters named after a sandwhich.  
  
"NOODLE, USE YOUR NOODLE, DO THE NOODLE DANCE." Dora sang, at this moment a noodle came out and started dancing.  
  
"...I think they've gotten scripts confused." Dib stated.  
  
"IT'S.. A ...dancing noodle." ZIM said.  
  
"...Yes... Yes it is." Dib said, sounding like ZIM.  
  
"IT IS THE NOODLE DANCE AFTER ALL!" Dib said, this time sounding much like Heptad.  
  
Finally, a lightbulb popped over Dora's head.  
  
"I have an idea!" she said. At this moment the insects stopped playing.  
  
"Thanks Fiesta Trio!" Dora said to the insects, they nodded and walked off.  
  
"What's your idea Dora?" Tico said.  
  
"Jump across the river!" Dora said. (Please remember this is a VERY TINY river.)  
  
"WELL DUH. Wow. That sure took a damn long time to FIGURE OUT THAT: JUMP ACROSS THE RIVER. Wow, ZIM, your race is stupid, just like you!" Dib said.  
  
"I assure you all Irkens are not that stupid, ESPECIALLY ME. THE GREAT AND ALL AMAZING, ZIM!" ZIM said, stating his "title".  
  
"Sure." Dib said sarcastically.  
  
On the TV, Dora jumped across the river.  
  
"Thanks Tico!" Dora said, and Tico waved goodbye and walked off.  
  
"Now come on Boots! We gotta get to the big wall!" Dora said, meeting SWIPER, the SWIPEY mongoose on the way.  
  
"HULLO I am Swiper, the swipey mongoose." Swiper said.  
  
"MONGOOSE." GIR squealed.  
  
"HULLO Swiper, son of Swipe!" Dora said. ( A/N: The Lord of the Rings... ye ye.. )  
  
"Anyways, yeh, according to this script I attempt to steal the stick or something, manage to steal it, there's a long fight sequence, you regain the stick back, give me one hell of a damn long speech about how stealing is wrong, but like the bad guy I am, I don't listen, but get forgiven anyways even though everyone damn well knows that I am going to steal again.. but anyways, the fact is, I had to tell you Dora, today, I just don't feel like doing all that crap! I really don't want your stupid stick either. " Swiper said, walking off.  
  
"...That was very inspirational coming from a mongoose." Dib said.  
  
"OH WELL BOOTS let's continue to the wall." And they kept walking, finally coming to the big wall. Boots stared a minute, and climbed over the wall with ease. Dora on the other hand, sat there.  
  
"...I don't feel like climbing." She said and with that she emerged a pair of mechanical spider legs like ZIM's from her backpack and jumped over the wall and landed on the other side, quickly re-tracting her spider legs.  
  
"...It makes my day quite interesting to see a fat hispanic girl emerge mechanical spider legs out of her purple backpack." Dib stated.  
  
FINALLY, this long TV show (and this chapter) was coming to an end, Dora got to the big hill. Dora used her spider legs again to climb up with Boots clinging on. She reached the top, re-tracting spider legs and standing in an Irkeny-like-triumph.  
  
"WE HAVE reached the big mountain/hill, Boots! Now let the stick, do a trick!" Dora said, happy of her acomplishment. With that the stick emerged from her backpack. Meanwhile Dora was looking down below her.  
  
"Oooh why is there a pool of man-eating sharks below me..." Dora said, staring.  
  
"TIME TO DO A TRICK." The stick said, and with that it floated in the air and whacked Dora off the mountain/hill, into the pool of man-eating sharks, and Dora was eaten.  
  
With this, Boots transformed into a funky looking monkey anthro, wearing a black trenchcoat (much like Dib's), a black shirt, black pants.. and sunglasses. He pulled a walkie-talkie radio from his trenchcoat pocket, and he spoke into it. But not the same squeaky voice from before, a deep, creepy, agent like voice.  
  
"Agent Boots reporting in. Agent Stick and I have sucessfully gotten rid of the threat to Earth, Dora the Irken, subject 5901. We will be reporting back to headquarters shortly." and with that Boots pressed a button on the walkie-talkie, a black car came rolling out of nowhere, Boots and the stick hopped in, driving off. (Think of Men in Black 2..)  
  
Meanwhile, Dib and ZIM were in utter shock. They couldn't say one word. FACE came up on the screen.  
  
"DO TO COMPLICATIONS.. Dora the Explorer has been cancelled.. THE END.." FACE said. With that, ZIM and Dib continued to stare. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. An hour. No one knew. Dib slowly looked over at ZIM and said..  
  
"...Monkies work for the Earth authorities?"  
  
END CHAPTER 2.  
  
Ahahaha. I bet you all liked that ending. Yeh, I know, this seemed to focus mainly on the show instead of the hostages, but I just had this great idea going and all that Dora was an Irken, cause of that backpack. So yeh. Should I continue doing improvisions like this to the shows or just focus mainly on the hostages..? Hehehe.. Anyways, next up is Barney. Keep on reviewing people and suggesting more shows, I'm tallying them up! 


End file.
